Royal Kindergarten Avenue

In this thrilling episode of Bartripping Dan & Andy venture where no sane Farang would dare to tread, the infamous RCA, or Royal City Avenue where the city’s young and horny rebels go after telling their parents that they’re staying at a friend’s house.  It is here that young women dance on television, boys take their first sip of whiskey and it is here that Dan & Andy went to show a bit of Anglo Saxon spunk.

Grang Soi, Charonkung Rd, 9:14pm
Dan: This charming corner restaurant raises the bar for soi eateries all over Bangkok, serving excellent Thai food including Isaan style spicy salads – the hottest somtam I have ever tasted and a wonderful spicy clear soup.  The clientele was mixed with a table of Farangs behind us and a group of Koreans and Japanese to our right.  I commented that with such reasonably priced and sophisticated restaurants in the neighbourhood, Andy need never eat at home.  Lucky, considering he can’t afford a place with a kitchen.

Andy: Opposite my launderette, I often drop into this place for a few beers and some country-style grub.  It’s amazing how much Chang you can sink in one wash-cycle.  The downside is that I end up back at home with a laundry bag full of knickers and bras, useless to me.

Route 66, RCA, 12:34am
Andy: Despite the deaf, dumb, blind and lobotomized taxi driver, we eventually arrived at Royal City Avenue, Bangkok’s entertainment strip for the young and naughty.  After seeing websites with security camera footage of drunken backseat encounters, I’ve been meaning to pay a visit to this place, although it’s a shame I don’t have a car.  The stringent ID card and passport checking ensure that your trip back home won’t be in handcuffs.

Dan: I think what’s most surprising about this place is the blatant perving that goes on.  One can do this as a hobbyist, such as myself, stealing glances across the bar, scanning the crowd and the like.  Lazier people can watch TV, where three cameramen on scaffolding constantly seek out cute girls.  There is also a blue screen which chicks dance in front of for the TV and finally there is a guy in a bear suit wandering around this massive establishment feeling up people.  The music is pure cheese, but the drinks are cheap and everyone is having a good time, give me shitty music and cheap booze over a trendy, nose-to-the-heavens club any day.

The Old Dragon, RCA, 1:04am
Dan: Andy put me onto this bar that seems to be made from about a dozen old shops put together like a jigsaw.  The place borrows heavily from history, with 50’s-style coke machines and petrol pumps saying Bt4.4.  Andy kept up the tone of the evening by entertaining me with tales of his child-molesting neighbours and general social observation. The band was doing a good imitation of Santana, Eric Clapton and then Pink Floyd – a strange mix to some, but with six Heinekens under your belt, even Procul Harem sounds good.

Andy: It reminded me of somewhat of a Chinese car-boot sale, a strange mix of Americana and antiques.  Just the ticket to finish up the night.  There’s only so much you can take of bubble-gum techno, Bungle the Bear and Thai kids sinking tequila depth charges.  The cheesy cover band, beer with ice in it and getting kicked out at 2am ended the night in true ‘kok style.

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