It’s low season, it’s raining and your Bartripping correspondents, Dan & Andy have fallen upon hard times. In this issue they stomp the familiar ground of Banglamphu in search of cheap drink.
Shoshana, Chakarapong Rd, 8:45pm, Bt70 Changs
Dan: It’s pissing down rain and we’re broke. Writing a column about Bangkok bars may be glamorous and exciting but it sure is hard on the wallet. It almost feels like being a backpacker again, except then I had loads of money and being tightarsed was a hobby. So Andy and I strolled down from FARANG world headquarters to Khaosan to see if one could still get sloshed on a shoestring.
First stop was Shoshana, the Israeli place next to the petrol station on Chakrapong Road. Mmmmm, the taste of schnitzel and chips, washed down with an icy cold Chang. When I say icy cold I mean it — the bottle’s neck was rimmed with ice. Attention to detail or just a slow night?
Andy: Cheap and cheerful, favorite with the FARANG staff. I visit this place at least once a week as all the waitresses are very well endowed and also serve a mean hummus and pita bread. In keeping with our reputation for sophistication we chose the outdoor seating terrace. The schnitzel and chips lined the stomach and the first beer for the night banished the relentless hangover I’d purchased in Phnom Penh the weekend before.
Thai Thai, Rambutri Rd, Behind the Wat, 9:35pm, Bt45 Changs
Andy: This is an old-school Khaosan watering hole, e.g., it looks like shit and it’s cheap. Again we went al fresco, down the back of the lane. I was rather disappointed by the lack of drunkard backpackers spouting nonsense about travel and the meaning of life, which is my usual entertainment when drinking in this area.
Dan: This cornerside drinker has been around ever since I first started coming to Thailand. I usually don’t patronize Thai Thai as it’s often full of scary-looking people but, as it was pissing down rain, it was a matter of any port in a storm. Plus they only charge Bt45 for a big Chang. We stumbled to the only table out of the rain down the back, tripping over a motionless dog on the way and slumped down into a couple of rickety bamboo chairs. Then we saw them. Two, no three, no five! Six! Six fucking huge rats running around in the lane and under our table. The males were covered in scars and missing tufts of fur. It was easy to see why when one started humping one of the smaller females. After two had made a charge at us and Andy commented that one could probably “take a toe off” we decided to move to less hazardous surrounds.
Take it Easy cocktail stand, Chakarapong Rd bus stop, 10:10pm, Bt30 Cocktails
Dan: Competition is fierce in the cocktail stand market, and these two fellows are raising the bar by dropping their price from the usual Bt50 to Bt30 for a G&T. This is accomplished by serving your drink in a very small glass and not putting any spirits in it. Bastards.
Andy: If you’re waiting for the bus, shaking uncontrollably, then hard liquor is near at hand. This place should be open in the morning!
Bayon Bar & Restaurant, Khaosan Rd, 11:10pm, 3xSmall Chang for Bt100
Andy: The Bayon reminds me of a public urinal inside but the balcony is a good place to get pissed and throw things at newly arrived backpackers and the Lava club girls touting below. At last some entertainment arrived in the form of a group of fresh-faced new arrivals from Britain. Dave, John and Karen were all from St. Albans, arrived the day before and were well impressed. Some gems of conversation were:
“Is it true that Thai women will do whatever you want?”
“I can’t believe that anybody would actually pay for sex.”
“Everything’s so cheap here.”
“Everyone is so friendly.”
“Which Malaria pills are you taking?”
Eavesdropping, Dan and I continued to chuckle as the conversation got more ludicrous as John got drunker. He capped the performance by walking into a glass door.
Dan: The Bayon has been through a number of renovations on its way to becoming the empty, ugly, echoing vault it is now. However, since the Hole in the Wall disappeared it’s the only place on Khaosan for a cheap(ish) beer. The place has a mascot miniature schnauzer and Korean barman. And so Andy and I finished our night here, reflecting on the changes to Bangkok since we first arrived and the changes within ourselves. As the 2am curfew approached we considered getting a sneaky beer to drink on the street but that’s a job for younger, newer Farangs. Instead, I went home to find my Chinese girlfriend fast asleep and drank myself to into unconsciousness on Blue Eagle whiskey in front of Apocalypse Now! Redux. Adulthood has its rewards.