Those dashing gentlemen of the night, Dan & Andy, knock back a triple shot of Bangkok’s nightlife, from the seamy to the sublime and the super-trendy.
Bamboo Beer Bar
Sukhumvit Soi 3, 10:20pm
Andy: If I were middle-aged, balding and insecure, this place would make me feel like a real man. As it is, being young and a super-charged fanny-magnet, it just made me want to spit on everyone else. As a Bangkok resident, this is nothing new. So I pulled up a stool and ordered a beer while waiting for Dan. Seeing my momentary loneliness, Lonely Expat Man decided to strike.
“Great band, eh?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I answered.
“Live here, do you?”
“Yeah, three years. But I’ve never come to this bar before.”
“What?” he said with a gasp. “This is one of the best bars in Bangkok!”
“Yeah, well, I never really get up to this part of town.”
“Where you go then, Patpong?”
“No, just different bars up Sukhumvit.”
“Soi Cowboy then?”
“Ahhh, no,”
With a puzzled look: “Oh, you must mean those beer bars, further up.”
Looking at him with disdain I realised that the only thing missing from his Pringle-and-yachting-shorts ensemble was my broken beer bottle sticking out of his cheek.
Dan: After last month’s fabulous night at the Bamboo (part of the Oriental Hotel) I suggested we check out that other bamboo landmark of Bangkok, situated opposite the Grace Hotel. Setting foot inside it I knew something was wrong. Over-lit, chrome dancing-poles behind the bar, and the patronage of over-40 ex-pat men and rough-looking Thai women made me suspect that I was the odd man out. The band was technically excellent, devoid of any soul and adored by the crowd. They had their name, Fox Band, lit in neon behind the stage and looked like they’d been on that stage for years – unkind years, to look at them. I was intrigued by the Perspex shield in front of the drummer and couldn’t decide weather it was for his protection or the crowd’s. I finally spotted Andy sitting at the bar, looking uncomfortable and trying to ignore the old fart next to him, who put me in mind of Elmer Fudd. The final amusement was provided by the band’s guest singer, a young Farang man singing Isaan songs. An amazing achievement, one that must have taken many years of training to enable him to sing crappy Thai country numbers, just like a real rice farmer.
Faith Club
Sukhumvit Soi 23, 11pm
Andy: I wanted to check out Faith, following it’s reopening as it’s a favourite of mine for lounging and hard liquor. I’d say one thing I like about this place is it’s never too busy to get served quickly. Your glass is always topped up without having to ask, so I left a lot drunker than I came. They also have a good eclectic music policy that attracts an unpretentious crowd of party-goers. Nobody even made fun of Dan’s wife-beater and farm-boots.
Dan: Red lights, concrete furniture, Faith has it all. As it was my first visit to this little bar/club, tucked away on Soi 23, I must say I was impressed with the taste and care put into the decor and the service. Along with the cool, laid-back lounge music gives the place the feel of a lounge room, maybe the lounge room of your really trendy friend with rich parents. Discovering that we had arrived on one of the more infamous Bt500/open-bar nights, Andy and I got stuck in. After a few G&T’s (that’s Gin & Tonic, plebs), the rosy glow of drunkenness took me. Indeed, took me out the door and into a taxi.
Mystique
Sukhumvit Soi 31, 12:10am
Dan: Bangkok’s newest uber-cool nightspot was, of course, our final destination. The million-dollar-decorated club looks pretty fancy from outside with 80’s-esque pointy lights and triangles. The three floors all have different styles, the rooftop being a lounge with busy Latin-tribal-carnival music playing while guests lounge around with hookah pipes. The middle is all red velvet, and the ground floor features the famous jellyfish tank. Spectacular. Wish I could say the same for the music. The place was heaving with punters grooving to very average hip-hop downstairs and unspectacular House mixes upstairs. I heard De-lite’s “Groove is in the Heart” playing as we arrived and again when we left. Nostalgic to be sure, but not something you pay Bt650 to get in for.
Andy: A lusciously extravagant nightspot, still enjoying its honeymoon-period heights. Any new addition to Bangkok’s nightlife scene is most welcome, especially one with such a debauched party atmosphere. Being a British animal lover, though, (I take Dan out with me every month, after all), I did feel I should have pointed out that the RSPCA would have something to say about keeping invertebrates in such a bass-heavy environment. Still, if you’ve been rebuffed by every model and poser in the place, the jellyfish have lovely soft bodies and are anyone’s by 2am.