“The best laid plans of mice and men aft gang agley,” said the poet Robbie Burns, himself infamous for missing Sunday church services because Saturday had supped up a wee bit too much of the liquid muse. And so it was with Dan and Stuart this month. Barred from entry, not quite recalling who drove whom home, and missing church for the 450th consecutive Sunday, in spite of sincere promises to their mothers back home, this month’s bartripping team takes some unexpected twists and turns – mostly of the stomach.
7.05pm, Kraichitti Gallery, Sunset St Complex, Khaosan Road
Dan: Being cultured sorts, Stu and I began the evening on a high note by attending the opening of fellow barfly Mr. Toi’s exhibition. Art show openings are excellent places to scam free booze and canapés and chat up educated-yet-credulous art students. Kraichitti did not disappoint, with a record crowd and free flowing beer, wine and whiskey, with the added bonus of being a short stroll from Untamed Travel Global Headquarters. Can’t remember many of the pieces, but I’m pretty sure they were paintings of some kind.
Stu: Although I am a cultured man, or at least was raised to be, these kinds of events are usually at the bottom of my social schedule. However one must occasionally attend in order to keep up appearances. For once Dan was on time – nothing like a whiff of free alcohol to get that sponge up off the seafloor. Feeling a little like a fish out of water myself, I attempted to blend in with the avant-garde of Bangkok by fingering canapés and quaffing the rough red as fast as it could be poured from the flagon.
8.50pm, Tsukiyo, Ekamai Soi 28
Stu: After repeated invitations and subsequent broken promises, bar owner and close friend Jamie (a.k.a. DJ Octo) was conspicuously absent upon our arrival. The only thing to do was have a few beers and poke fun at the menu. Tempted as I was to try the ‘taquila’, I wasn’t so keen to investigate the Bt200 ‘cokkage’ charge and settled on a Malibu Juice. Several phone calls later, Jamie arrived to set us straight with a round of Mojitos, the house favourite.
Dan: Situated in probably the nicest carport in Bangkok, Tsukiyo used to be a summerhouse attached to the estate next door. Jamie sealed and air-conditioned the upstairs and turned the downstairs into an open-air bar with Thai-style raised platforms, lending a house party feel. Indeed there was a birthday party underway upstairs and a steady stream of hipster chicks were making their way upstairs, helped on their way by Stu’s hungry eyeballs. The other highlight, to my mind, are the excellent lavatories, all decked out with decking and pebbles to keep you above the piss, as well as a handy shower cubicle in case you need to freshen up after a hard session. I guess it’s polite not to lock the door while showering so people can still use the toilet. Back in the bar, while asking Jamie where we should make our next stop, one of the hipster chicks walked past telling her friend “This place is cool but Esco is way cooler, darling.” Oddly enough this was the bar Jamie had recommended to us a few seconds before. Case closed.
11:25pm, Esco Bar, Ekami Soi 5
Dan: Two clubs on site, thumping bass audible in the car park with a crowd of hi-so types keenly queuing at the door, we stumbled on the first hurdle. Obviously a stranger to the more sophisticated drinking scene of the nation’s capital, Stu’s only photo ID was a picture of himself at his fifth birthday and the door-baboon was in no way amused.
Stu: Left out in the cold, even the company of a globe-trotting DJ and a respected journalist could not secure my entry. The only thing to do was to bring out the big guns – the threat of a poor review. So here it is: Esco is rubbish.
11:35pm, Glow Club, Sukhumvit 23
Stu: On to a venue more suited to my social standing, we followed Jamie’s lead and headed over to Glow club where a red carpet awaited our muddy heels. The place is tastefully decorated, split over two levels and has bathrooms bigger than my apartment. Making a beeline for the bar, I spied the familiar face of Rom, previously my favourite barman at Q Bar, now helmsman of the good ship Glow. Being familiar with the press and our special needs, he scrambled to fill the bar with drinks. A fine old-school barkeep, Rom plied us with food and liquor from the well-stocked bar and amused us with a bottle spinning display worthy of Tom Cruise. Impressed, we asked if he was a mixologist, Rom replied “No, I’m the creator of the night.” It was an evening of firsts, tom yum vodka, Parinya (the only cocktail in the world that makes Sang Som taste good) and more flavours of exotic rum than you could shake a swizzle stick at.
Dan: Formerly Faith Club, Glow has built on Faith’s foundation cool décor and top-quality music, so obviously it is something less than bursting at the seams in this cloth-eared town. Nevertheless this was the highlight of the night, with DJ Tom mixing a fine concoction of beats including Oxygene, an old favourite of mine from the early 80s. Possibly the secret behind the quality of the music is Glow’s daring ‘No Hip Hop’ policy. To my delight, they stock a rare cache of absinthe, Hemingway’s favourite. I must have been channelling the great man that night because no amount of warnings or pleadings from my companions could stop me sampling the stuff. Can’t say that it had any discernible effect, but boy did I feel rotten when I woke up naked and bruised on the kitchen floor the next morning.